7,300 Days

I was 12 years old and I had no idea where I belonged. I found myself at church camp in an attempt to spend time with the prettiest girl I knew. (she didn’t end up going HA)

That weekend would mark me for the rest of my life. I heard the good news of Jesus, and for the first time, my heart wanted to know and be known by God.

I didn’t quite have my head around what it all meant, but I was certain there was something significant about life with Jesus. And I wanted a piece of it.

On November 12, 2005, I followed the call to follow Jesus. Twenty years in, I don’t know where else I would go. He is better than anything else I’ve found.

I wish I had a powerful testimony of overnight life change, but that’s just not my story.

I spent 10 more years desperately trying to earn the approval of others.

I spent 10 more years consumed by my own pride and arrogance.

I spent 10 more years enslaved to porn.

I spent 10 more years (and then some) holding on to things that never delivered on what they promised.

But God.

He is patient, slow to anger, and overflowing with faithful love. He has consistently pursued me, even in my inconsistency. His kindness has met me when I’ve had none for myself. He is delighted in me apart from anything I can offer him.

Never for a moment has he distanced himself from my mess. Instead, he has always stepped into it.

He freed me from chains I chose for myself and brought me out of darkness into life. The old has passed away, and the new has come.

Twenty years in, the gentle hand of his Spirit is still slowly but surely shaping Christ in me. Sometimes it kind of hurts - my head is just a little too thick. And yet, it is so worth it.

Twenty years in, I belong to Jesus and his people. And he’s worth everything he asks for.